Sir, would you like an upgrade?

Viva

First of all, my sincerest apologizes for being gone too long.  Things come up, I get busy and I forget how much I enjoy talking about whatever.  As my dear friend Adam put it, "you mind as well call it Dvo said."

Point readers.  Thanks gang.  Now, let's get to work.

Significant Other and I debated for a long time about a spring break vacation.  She has some time off for a week in April and was begging to go somewhere.  I was skeptical.  Not only is the Middle East imploding which creates gas prices only Charlie Sheen can afford, but just the sheer planning really up'd my #tigerblood pressure.

Dateline: Boston, about 11 p.m. on a recent Saturday.

Significant Other: We really just need to pick somewhere, everything will be expensive.
Me: I just don't know... I would love to go somewhere however everything is so expensive and there are too many options to narrow it down.

We came together for dinner the next night.  The discussion lasted for hours.  Finally, there is one place in the whole world that provides a nice place to stay with warm weather in April.  And this place has anything that you want to do.  Our eyes lit up and we finally decided:

Las. Vegas.

That's right folks.  The one place in the U.S. where drinking in public is encouraged.  Of course, we're both excited for a host of things.  Significant Other likes the pool options and I personally can't wait to see some Cirque shows.

Although our decision was clear, planning was/is still complicated.  We have a variety of options to stay and we've penciled ourselves in the MGM Grand.  It got great reviews from my parents and the pool seemed to say, "come on in, you're on vacation and you're staying at the MGM GRAND."

$20=Bi-Winning

I started exploring further.  I want this trip to be special but I don't want to break the bank.  Is it possible?  This website thinks so.  Apparently there is a underground secret that runs through Vegas like Charlie Sheen does with briefcases delivered to his house.

Basically when checking into the hotel, slip a twenty between your credit card and driver's license.  Just as the hotel clerk is processing your room, he/she will notice the money.  At that point, you ask for an upgrade.

I looked deeper and there is a ton of different views about this. I'm not sure if I've been kept in the dark (I know, it's called tipping) or if this will get me that much.  Some dude slipped a hotel clerk a $20 and he got the Charlie Sheen suite at Aria (last one with Sheen, promise).  I mean is that for real?

I'll try this in Vegas when I'm there of course.  And I'll clearly make a huge scene whether it works or not.  And if this does work, I'll be sure to use this in other places outside of Vegas.  For instance:

-speeding tickets (officer, no one needs to know about this)
-my boss at work (more vacation days?)
-girlfriend (discount on the cable bill?)
-automotive retailers ($20 for rims?)
-VIP sections of clubs/bars (not paying more than  an ol' Lincoln here)
-library (I buy, not borrow)

We'll see what happens, I'll keep all of you posted.  But either way, I can say I tried it.  And that's like #winning in itself.

A "Harry" situation

Beautiful Fort Wayne, Indiana

Caution: may not be suitable for children or old people with heart conditions.


I'm sure some of you have seen the raging debate that is going on in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  This fairly large city (relative of course) is home to a sacred history.  A traditional midwest town that was settled by the French but eventually grew into a manufacturing haven during the mid-20th century.

As manufacturing was less in demand, the economy in Fort Wayne diversified and became known for its education, healthcare, insurance, defense, and security (according to Wiki).  The city has a thriving economy and has decided to expand.  The city has plans to build a new government center.  The problem?  It didn't have a name.

So what does a great democracy do?  They wanted to hear from the people via this nifty thing called the internet.  Great idea Fort Wayne!  Glad to see you're separating from Cairo.  Let the people have a voice.

And so they did.  This message board displayed the results.

Yes, you saw it right.  The people want to name their new government building after a proud mayor in the 1940's.

His name is Harry Baals.  By the way, I'm not writing a blog just to have confusion of how his last name is pronounced.  It's "balls."


I'll let you chuckle for a second.... ok.  Let's continue. 


Relatives have since pronounced their last name "Bales."  However, the town is a bit.... testy (stole that joke, heard it earlier but had to share) and they want their new government center to be named the Harry Baals Government Center.

However, the Deputy Mayor has already said that the name is a no go. I completely understand that.  The issue arises when you give your people the power to voice there opinions.  On the message board, Harry Baals already has 10,000 votes, while the second place vote getter has 500.  The people have spoken.  You don't need to call it Harry Baals.  Maybe H.B. Government Center.  Or H. Baals Government Center.  The new mayor can even pronounce the name "Bales" if he/she feels uncomfortable.

The fact is that Harry Baals was a strong influence in Fort Wayne and should be recognized for it.  Even the people think so.

Let's hope the city makes the right decision and honor the legacy of Harry Baals, Mayor Fort Wayne.  Seriously.

To my friends in Canton

An open letter to the voters of the Pro Football League Hall of Fame


To whom it may concern,

While emotions may overtake the point this letter will make; I will concede I have never been as angry about sports as I was on Superbowl Sunday.

Yes, the Packers did win the Superbowl and thus officially rendering this season to be the worst season in Minnesota Vikings history. Although surprisingly, that was not the primary reason why I was livid.

No, the voters of the Pro Football Hall of Fame again proved why the system is flawed while all football fans simultaneously had strokes when the voting results were made public

You, the voters, have agreed to once again pass up on the greatest receiver of all time.  I know, Jerry Rice is in the hall but we aren't talking about the hardest working or the most fortunate.  We are talking about the best ever.

All he does is....

We are talking about Cris Carter.  Understand that voters had an obligation to put the best WR in the hall.  He retired as the statistically second best receiver in the game.  Have you ever known an athlete that has been second best in his career and not been voted as a first ballot hall of famer?  Are we leaving out Karl Malone?  Or Ty Cobb (Hank Aaron would be second in HR's)? I mean did you voters leave Marino out of the hall?  No, of course not.

So when you folks didn't vote Cris Carter in as a first ballot, the fans shook our heads and said, "oh well, he'll get in next year."  He didn't.  And now we must wait again so and hope that you don't make the same mistakes.

Sure, I could have lobbied for Andre Reed or Tim Brown but how are you leaving out the best?

Look, Jerry Rice was a fantastic receiver.  Rice had a great work ethic and had the fortunate opportunity to play with Steve Young, Joe Montana, and Rich Gannon for his career as well.

Carter?  Well he played with Gannon, Wade Wilson, Tommy Kramer, Sean Salisbury (God help him), Jim McMahon (who doesn't remember Carter), Warren Moon, Brad Johnson, Randall Cunningham, Jeff George,  Daunte Culpepper, Todd Bouman, and of course Spergon Wynn.

As you can see, he may have had some decent QB's for Carter but none that were championship caliber (except for maybe Moon and Gannon). Furthermore, Carter had to suffer through the same open door policy that the Vikings continue to have at QB to this day.

Even though there was no chemistry, Carter overcame drug problems and was a prolific pass catcher.  In this clip, the NFL network rate him with the best hands EVER.  What am I missing here?

Oh of course.  How silly of me.  The only wide receiver in history to have back to back 120 catches. He was also the only player in Pro Football history to have three 12+ reception games in one season.

Though, we are blessed with knowing the transcendence of Cris Carter and what he did for the wide receiver position.  Any Viking fan will tell you that no one owned the sidelines better than Cris Carter.  And the common sideline techniques that fans see every Sunday is based on what Carter did throughout his entire career.  This technique is historically significant.

So now I ask you, Pro Football Hall of Fame: How long must you continue to torture the best wide receiver in history?  He certainly hasn't deserved it.

All he does is catch touchdowns.  And I look forward to having him tell all of us that in his induction speech.

Can we talk about it?

I had plenty of time to prepare for this one.

I didn't need much help today with other events going on in the world.  I could have talked about Egypt going crazy and shutting off the internet.  And somehow the USA continues to support this dictatorship.  Looks like things are going well there.  You know when a country shuts off the internet, people are completely destroying everything.  "Not the internet!!"

And of course, there is always Charlie Sheen to talk about.  He's really living up to his Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn persona.  Listen, when a person gets a briefcase delivered to them, it leads to bad things.  Think about it, when have you had a briefcase delivered to you?  You maybe see that in a movie.  It always turns out to be a bad sign.  And the thing about our friend Charlie is that I completely believe the story that came out about him here.  Only Charlie could have his life saved by some reality show couple after a four day bender.  Lovely.

No, I don't want to talk about any of these stories because they do the talking for themselves.  I want to discuss how terrible my ride home was.

I'm not going to complain; all I'm going to say is that I'm sick and tired of crazy Massholes running the show.  It took me 3.5 hours today to get a haircut.  That's right, 2.5 hours in traffic and then I had to wait a half hour for the hair cut and of course half hour for the ride home.

I don't understand what goes on in this state.  They continuously tax people and I wonder where this money goes!?  It certainly doesn't go to fixing the roads.  Or removing snow off the streets.  Or fixing the infrastructure to help the flow of traffic.  No, it goes to the socialist government that controls the state.

I'm not going to get political here.  I just want to vent.  Clearly, all drivers born here are some type of terrible on the road. So here's what I'm suggesting:

I think that all Mass drivers take a mandatory test every week to make sure they are competent to drive. Some I have a lot of confidence in, like our friend Emily.  She clearly has a controlled chaos when it comes to commanding the road.  I appreciate the aggressiveness.

But others, like the taxi drivers should have to take the test hourly. I swear, student drivers are better fit to get to point A to point B than the taxi drivers. 

Nothing will change though so thanks for listening.  Because venting is really the only option.

Secret lover, best friend

Best. Thing. Ever.

Last V-day, I was given one of the best gifts ever.

If you have a significant other, you know you have to get a little creative when it comes to gifts for birthday/v-day/holiday sessions; especially if you've been dating awhile.

Also this significant other, if female, should know the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Thank goodness that my significant other knows this.  Now, I don't usually plug gifts or products.  However, if you love pizza and you own an oven, why do you not own a pizza stone?

The picture above is my pizza stone after a full years use.  It is literally is the gift that keeps on giving.

And best of all, it's simple to use.

So here's what you do if you want to have the gift of a lifetime:

1. Buy a pizza stone.  Pretty easy to find. I've actually done a lot of the work for you.  Check it out.

2. Put pizza stone in oven.

3. Buy the ingredients for a pizza and make it.  Trader Joe's has dough for only a dollar.

Folks, I'm making this plea because I couldn't hold out anymore.  I was up day and night saying to myself, "is the world ready to know what I know about my beloved pizza stone?"

The answer is yes.  All of you are ready to have a pizza stone in your life.

And if this hasn't convinced you let me give you a scenario that you may or may not have experienced:

Dateline: Big city of your choice
Time: Bar Close

Scenario:

You've had a wonderful evening dancing/chilling/with friends.  But now you have a problem... you're hungry and possibly intoxicated.  What to do?

Then you remember earlier that day you woke up to buy ingredients for your new pizza stone that your friend Dvo recommended.  Remember?  Your favorite pizza is one with the works.  Everything on that bad boy.

You go home and instead of waiting for a pizza place to deliver or possibly give up because they are all closed; you and your closest friends/significant other(s) start hammering away at making a delicious homemade pizza.

Don't be that guy (or girl).  Don't be the one person that doesn't have a pizza stone.

And they make great leftovers.  Make sure to let me know how it goes.  You'll thank me later.

Looking forward to another summer

Do you smell that folks?  That's the smell of my favorite baseball team making another smart move.

No, O-Dawg didn't come back.  However the Minnesota Twins did resign Jim Thome to a one year, three million dollar contract. This is wonderful news.

Should I be excited as ever to welcome back a 40 year old to the Twins? Absolutely.

Look, Jim Thome has made over 159 million dollars over his career and I think all of us assumed that the money never mattered to him.  What matters to him is winning and winning now.  Although his post-season average is not great (.217) and neither is his OPS (.790), he still brings the clutch bat that the Twins need.  The man is first all time in walk off's.  Who wouldn't want him back?

This isn't football people.  We all knew when another 40 year old individual came back to play another season with my favorite football team that he would not be the same person as the year before.  I expect the same to happen to Thome.  His OPS was the fourth highest in his career (1.039) and in a replacement role for an injured Morneau, he hit 25 HR's.  That just won't happen again.

But he will be a great insurance plan if for some reason Morneau is not ready to go.  I think that he was a great protection for Delmon Young last year as well.  Thome usually batted behind Young and allowed DY to have more freedom with the bat.  Now DY having another great year?  I certainly expect that.

Though as we wait for the new season to start, let's just smile and realize that this is probably the Twins most significant signing this off-season.  More than that Japanese infielder and more than Pavano (soon trust me).  And because the culture of the clubhouse is also important to our team, it helps that he's considered one of the best people in baseball.   Baseball is all about numbers and memories.  To play basically start just half the season and have a WAR (Wins above replacement) at 3.5 is fantastic in my book.

So let's remember the memories that he's given us and look forward to another great season for the Minnesota Twins.

Here's one to get you started:  http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=11084089

On a serious note...

It was a tough day on Saturday.

The shooting in Tuscon was a hard pill to swallow for the country.  We get caught up in each day's tasks and events such as the one on Saturday make all of us shake our head and appreciate what we have.  It's unfortunate that this event happened and clearly my thoughts and prayers are with all of the victims and those affected by this senseless tragedy.

And as we learn more about the young man who seems to be a complete sociopath, you would think we play the card for what it is.

But no, Deputy Clarence Dupnik had to address the media hours after the event (while still possibly looking for a second shooter???) that this tragedy was spurned by venomous political rhetoric.

Huh?  When did this Deputy decide that he would use this public stage as a personal outcry of what's wrong right now in American politics?  Instead of delivering facts and focusing on the investigation at hand, the Deputy decided that it would be in the public's best interest to gauge the cause of this unspeakable crime.  

Well, we all know what would happen next.  Not even a day of focusing on the victim's lives and what they  lived for, the talking heads started....talking.

It quickly became a war of words.  Democrats finally pointing the finger saying, "you've gone to far  with your words you crazy republicans!"

Yes this is wrong. But it
doesn't have anything to do
with Saturday

Republicans matching this word fight by saying, "your policies caused this to happen!"

WHOAAA... everyone slow down here.  Let's take this for what it is.  This was a sociopath committing a heinous crime that had nothing to do with the rhetoric of politics.  Rather, this was a sick and twisted individual who should be put to death because of his actions.  Actions that had nothing to do with a Palin map with crosshairs.

In the book Columbine by Dave Cullen, he describes the two individuals that committed one of the worst tragedies in American history.  He analyzes the influences they might have had.  And while Dylan for the most part followed Eric in whatever he did, Eric was just a sociopath.  It wasn't Marilyn Manson or violent video games.  He was just a sociopath.

So while I agree that there is a problem with the way congress addresses each other and the public, I think that it would be best to talk about the "venomous political rhetoric" on a different day.  Because it really has nothing to do with this.

Instead, let's honor the victim's of this tragedy.  Here are their names:

Gabe Zimmerman, 30

Phyllis Scheck, 79

Christina Taylor Greene, 9

John Roll, 63

Dorwin Stoddard, 76

Dorothy Morris, 76

And to those who are injured, we keep them in our thoughts and prayers including congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords

First things first

My California math
says 14 years is too much

Got a little taste?  Good.  Here's some more:

BBWA: Wow, 14 years huh?  It takes you that long to put one of the best curveballs in the baseball hall of fame.  I'm grateful that it will never take 14 years for someone to evaluate me.  The concept makes no sense to me.  Either you are a hall of famer, or you're not.  It should be an active discussion and then a vote and it's done. Please, don't delay Larkin's admission as well.

Give this man his money

Vikings:  17 unrestricted free agents equals problems.  Here's what I'm thinking.  Priorities have to go to Greenway, Rice (I mean come on), Robison (replace Edwards, he costs too much), Fat Pat (let him retire a Viking) and Tahi if you can get him cheap.  Out the door are our QB's and notably Longwell.  Yeah if we can get him cheap, resign him but at this point we need to save some money.  The fact of the matter is that during this offseason we should also pay AD.  Why not?  He's the best player in the league.

Can't spell love without this bag

Teriyaki Sauce:  Why are you so simple to make?  Why are you so delicious?  So underrated. Also awesome is Teriyaki beef jerky.  Thought I would share.

The new "troika?" Let's hope so

Twovles:  Have you seen them lately?  Granted, no one is comparing the Love-B-Easy-Darko troika to Bird-Parish-Mchale.  However, they've got something going.  I enjoy the way the play basketball and if they can get a defensive stopper plus a solid SG.  Like Monta solid.  That said, we're still a year or two out.

Generic Blog Title #1

Well... this is going to be awkward.

Originally, my nickname came to fruition with my first football coach.  It was sixth grade and I was a asthmatic, nerdy, and undersized fullback that had never played any type of organized football.  But wanting to emulate a hero of mine, my brother, I decided that football was something I was going to do because he did.

The first day of practice, I partook in a few drills to get me accustomed to hitting.  Mind you, this is the same stage of life that I would still cry often and be afraid to have a baseball thrown at me (had been playing that sport much longer and still pathetic).  The coach called one drill "the box."  This drill would consist of four cones, placed to look like a square no larger than your kitchen table at home.  Two players would face each other from opposite ends and be ready to get hit.  At the coaches whistle, he would throw the ball to one of us and it was the other person job to tackle the ball carrier.

Of course the coach, a high school drop out and borderline convict, knew this was my first time playing football.  He lined me up first and made sure that the other player was the largest kid on the team.  He blew the whistle and a 6th grader as large as 6'5" 300 lbs. came rick rolling my direction. Tears rolling down my face, I lowered my shoulder and got nailed back at least 20 yards.

After practice, coach came over and gave me a pep talk.  He said, "you gotta play fierce, play like you wanna hurt people.  You wanna hurt people don't you?"

Confused by the context but still scared I reluctantly nodded my head.

"You need a nickname," he exclaimed.  "Something that makes others shake in their pads."

"What about 'killer'," I asked.

"No, I don't see you as a 'killer'.  Though you should still sound tough.  You seen the movie Friday yet?"

"Umm, no.  I'm not sure I can see that," I said referring to the rated R movie.

"Well the guy in there, that movie, his name is DeeBo.  You're last name kind of sounds like that."

And from there it was born, or spawned, or something.  The letters of my last named were used to form my nickname that I've fondly carried with me since that season.

And most may know me by my first name, I thought I would share how others might call me.  Though spelling might be a different story of course.  Devo, Divo, D'vo, DeeVo.....

So now, I'll introduce my blog.  A luxurious collection of stories, opinions, sports and food.  You could call it a coming out party.  Wait... please don't call it that.

Happy reading

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